March 31, 2021 2 min read
Denial. I have pretended that this day wasn't going to arrive. But it's getting close. And I find myself crying when I walk by him playing video games, doing homework or writing music in the other room...
My Superman, my baby, is about to graduate. He will be college bound. And my heart is so heavy...I'm crying as I write this.
I have spent the last 18 years preparing him to be self sufficient, have compassion for others, brush his teeth twice a day, work hard, and find humor in everything. But in all this preparation, I forgot to prepare my heart to let go. And it hurts.
He is ready. He is SO ready for this next exciting chapter in his life. And for that, I am so very thankful and I am truly excited for him! Yet, at the same time, I miss my little buddy -- my Superman, my Gimli, my precious little boy. And it's totally natural to feel this way. But it doesn't make it any easier.
CHERISH. EVERY. MOMENT. Forget how exhausted you are today and how messy the house is. You can rest after they leave for college. LOL. Stop and play cars or legos with him, throw that baseball with him a million times, sit while he watches tv or does his homework. When those older parents would tell you, "It goes by so fast," they knew EXACTLY what they were talking about. Maybe they were hurting then like I am now. Today I'm that old person and I'm telling you it ZOOMS by!
I remember when I brought my newborn son home from the hospital. I distinctly remember thinking, "Why on earth did they let me take him home? I don't have any experience!" I was terrified because it was all so new and I had never been a mom. Well, I sort of feel like that now. I'm entering a new mom phase where I feel emotionally unprepared.
I know my son and I will figure this next phase out. Gonna be a little bumpy at first, but I know he will be patient with me. HAHA
Oh what joy my sons have brought to my life. They are truly my joy. Being outnumbered in my house by these guys has been the greatest gift. My Boymom Life has been THE BEST LIFE. Truly.
But for right now, I'm just going to have to keep boxes of tissues around for while... ;D